Id Give It All Up For You
by talyn64
Summary: Two simple words.  One person… she wasn't allowed.


**DISCLAIMER: Back borrowing them… usual torture I put them through. A/N: After Kait shot down the offer of smut I wrote this for her instead, with the guideline of not using clichés which are so overrated. Season 8-9, AU. Summary: Jack retires and Sam confronts him as to his decision. DRAMA!  
>BN: I did ****not**** shoot down the offer of smut... Per se. Z did a good job with this IMHO. A/N: You said drama but didn't entertain the notion of smut shame oh well juicy story later for you guys !**

The tree's passed by in a blur, the cars on the road long forgotten, but the tears that adorned her face were fresh. The heartache burning deep inside almost eating its way out and threatening to show itself to the world.

The 'what if's', the 'buts'', everything spinning through her mind. Thinking and rethinking everything she could have done differently, reflecting on all the choices she made that threw her into the present with nothing to hold onto.

Jack O'Neill.

Two simple words. One person… she wasn't allowed.

Out of all the things in her life, he was the most complicated, off limits person she had ever met. Ever_ loved,_ she would go so far to say. It only took one simple briefing to render her heart completely taken.

What if she quit? Give up everything for one chance. One chance of him accepting her, whisking her off her feet and making her his. Even the thought of it, the chance of it happening broke her.

She couldn't feel any more, the fresh tears fading into the background, almost non-existent to her consciousness.

Sam stopped in front of her place, pulling out the memo that had been left carelessly tossed onto her desk. Her eyes drifted over it, not even bothering to commit it to memory; her eyes drew to the messy scribbles at the bottom of the page.

General Jack O'Neill. Retired.

Why? Because of her?

Question after question emerged, none of which she had the answers to.

Even after everything, it would be too late… Wouldn't it?

Sam looked at Jack's house; his black truck parked in the drive way, the plume of smoke resonating from out back and a figure moving around inside, who could only be one person.

Making up her mind, Sam drove down the driveway, pulling alongside his truck, gripping at the wheel and staring forward, her thoughts racing. She couldn't think straight. All rational thought left her when she got out of her car and stepped up onto the porch and found the door unlocked.

Sam walked through the house and came face to face with Jack O'Neill. She tossed the memo at him and went straight to his fridge, pulled out a beer without giving him a chance to explain himself and his memo.

"Why quit?" Sam asked pointedly, leaning down on the counter and levelling her eyes with his. "Why now give it all up? What - all of a sudden - is so important to make you quit after eight and a half years?" Sam raised her voice at him and Jack closed his eyes, listening to her words. feeling them cut and smash him into a thousand pieces.

'_I did it for you… For us.' _Jack thought to himself as Sam continued throwing one punch after the other, not letting up. If only Sam could read his thoughts.

"Why the hell are you doing this?" Sam yelled at him, her hands clutching the bench until her knuckles turned white and her earlier tears returned.

"You do…" Jack whispered, just loud enough for Sam to hear him as he turned his back on her and walked out the sliding door and onto the back porch. The cloudy sky matched his mood. It threatened to rain as surely and his tears wanted to fall.

He gave up his career for her; he would give up everything for her.

_He always would._

Sam watched as his retreating form disappeared onto the back patio. She felt like a bitch for coming into his home and accusing him. For yelling at him, but ultimately hurting him.

Sam found her feet and slowly made her way outside, looking around for any sight of Jack. His black sweater poked out from around the corner where he sat on the steps with his head in hands and eyes closed. Sam lowered her own eyes to the ground and sat down beside him. The deafening silence was uncomfortable and since Sam created it, she would be the first to break it.

"I'm sorry," Sam started, but Jack held up his hand to silence her and Sam looked ahead - at nothing in particular - waiting for him to talk.

"I have only one reason for giving everything up and you already know the answer to that. Eight years of regrets. Eight years of seeing friends and personnel losing their lives to the Stargate." Jack said, his hands shaking as the cool air started to get to them.

"After losing Janet last year and being shot, that was too close and it had me think that that could be you or Daniel or Teal'c. That I would lose another friend or someone I would go so far as to call my family in this war. I can't sit here, while you go out there, not knowing if you're going to come back alive or injured. Thinking about you lying on a gurney and never getting the chance to hold you, taste your lips, everything. Everything that can be possibly thought I have thought and it all come down to two things." Jack paused, turning his gaze to Sam.

"I've waited too long for you and-" Jack took her hand into his and tipped her chin so her eyes met his. "_I don't want to lose you."_ he whispered, pulling her head into the crook of his neck and wrapping his arms around her body, pressing his lips to the top of Sam's head.

They sat in each other's arms until the cold started to breach their clothing, the chilly breeze rustling the leaves on the trees and in turn causing those trees to sway gently.

"It's cold," Sam mumbled into his sweater, pulling him closer to her though it had couldn't fight the bitter cold that had grown outside.

"Come on," Jack pulled her up, making her stand until he ushered her inside, thankful he had put the fire on earlier, the house was full of warmth and the living room bathed in a warm red glow. They sat down on the couch as Sam drew her legs up. Jack pulled her into his chest, rubbing his hands up and down her sides.

Her eyes closed and just content on feeling, Sam gave herself away to the moment, hopefully grounding them in it forever.

After all of the fighting, the loss, the pain and heartache they would have each other and in the eight years not much had changed. They were still there for each other but now in more ways than one.


End file.
